People who do lots of work...
make lots of mistakes
People who do less work...
make less mistakes
People who do no work...
make no mistakes
People who make no mistakes...
gets promoted
That's why I spend most of my time
Sending e-mails & playing games at work , I need a promotion.

 

Regards,
Director,
Busywork.org

HERO :
President Bush & Musharaf

HEROINE :
Banzeer  

VILLAIN:
Sharif, Qazi, Imran

SCRIPTED IN :
USA

SHOOTED IN :
Pakistan

CHARACTER ACTOR :
Amin Fahim

FRIENDLY APPEARANCE :
Saudi King

FRAUDY :
Asif Ali Zardari

COMEDIAN :
Shaikh Rasheed

SUPPORTING ACTOR :
Fazal ur Rahman

CHARACTERLESS ACTORS :
Chaudharies

DANCERS :
Sherry Rehman, Kashmala Tariq

MUSIC BY :
MQM

ACTION BY :
Pak Army

SUSPENSE BY :
Chief Justice

FINANCE BY :
US, India & Israel

I got this in an email, yeah, one of those chain letters... I read it and just had to add my feelings to this.

--- 49 Things Girls want Guys to Know ---

1) You have to tell a girl how you feel about her...we make no assumptions.

1A) And after we tell you, shut the fuck up about it, we don't like answering the same question 50 times.

2) It never hurts to work out... Take your own advice.

2A) Same to you, if you start, I will to.

3) Girls like sex just as much, if not more than guys.

3A) Yeah, we know.

4) Not all girls masturbate...we just don't and no we are not lying.

4A) Same as 3A, We know you do, stop trying to act like your all mighty and never talk about it.

5) We hate porn.

5A) Tell that to the millions of women that buy it. Also, porn has been known to save marriages.

6) Hmmmm...guys in Jeeps...yummmm...

6A) Please, look at your numbers 28 and 44. Don't tell us to not look, when your doing it.

7) Girls need food, water, and compliments to survive.

7A) Some girls need to get a clue on life, get a job, and stop asking for money. It's alright to ask us to buy you something cute, but don't do it every chance you get.

8) We think about you all the time.

8A) As do we, some guys don't like being called 8 times in an 8 hour work period. We are trying to get money for house payments and such, and to get you stuuf as in number 7A.

9) Being able to make us laugh is so much more important than how much you can bench-press.

9A) Good, so take a joke and stop getting pissed off if you think a joke was crude.

10) We may think you are gay if you wear tighty-whities on a regular basis.

10A) Does it REALLY matter what some guys wear? Deal with it.

11) Hold our hand.

11A) We do but some of us are not assholes and like to block hallways and such 'holding hands'.

12) No backseat drivers...NONE.

12A) Then drive, and drive correctly. Keep your eyes on the ROAD. Don't get me started on people driving.

13) Girls generally don't like giving head, so you better be ready to reciprocate if and when you get it.

13A) We would be HAPPY to reciprocate, as long as you WASH what you have!

14) We are not your all-night restaurant.

14A) Against the guys too, get up, get your late night snack and fix it yourself. Im not your personal waiter. You have LEGS TOO!

15) Anything we say or do during that 4 days to a week each month cannot be held against us. [for all the guys who are saying huh? it means PERIOD]

15A) Alright, then when I have a headache, sick, and all that combined, DON'T ASK ME TO DO YARD WORK! Also, WE still go to work when we are sick. Get used to it. We have to have money for PAYMENTS!

16) If you hold our hand while you are driving we will be thoroughly impressed...especially if it's a stick.

16A) Against guys and girls, Stop 'holding hands' while driving, you may think you can respond fast enough to a quick decision, but you CANNOT!

17) Under no circumstances will we have a threesome.

17A) Obviously you have not been reading the correct material, if this is your thing, then enjoy it. Don't say all girls don't like it, or it would not EXIST.

18) You look hot in hooded articles of clothing.

18A) Really, let me dress THUG all day then.

19) If you think for any reason that we don't like you then we probably don't.

19A) Good.

20) Having us over while you and your friends play video games does not count as "quality time".

20A) Then bring some of your friends over and play video games too. We don't give up doing what we like when we met you.

21) Just because we groom ourselves on a regular basis does not mean we're high maintanance.

21A) Yeah, alright. It does not take an hour to shower, and brush your teeth, and to take a shit.

22) Never comment on how much a girl eats...ever.

22A) Then don't comment on how much I eat.

23) Keep in mind that we withold sex when we're mad at you, so you might wanna get around to apologizing...

23A) Do you really think sex is going to fix something? You need to have a talk about it. Oh wait, don't get pissy and walk away when we need to talk.

24) You just can't force us to like sports..

24A) Some women like sports, and alot play sports.

25) We're typically smarter than you...so get over it and stop whining when we get better grades than you.

25A) Already insulting our intelligence. Typical.

26) If you do not own a wife-beater, stop reading this list, and go invest in one...right now.

26A) Most guys don't buy clothing because you like it, we buy it on sale, and what feels good.

27) The ability to play the guitar will help you get laid.

27A) Uh, alright. So building a rocket, going to the moon, creating vaccines, and performing surgery are any different?

28) We're sorry, Brad Pitt just IS hot...get over it!!!

28A) So you can look at guys, but we can't look at other women, or it's cheating. Seems kind of hypricatical.

29) Walks in the rain, kisses on the forehead, and cooking dinner for us will get you everywhere.

29A) Some of us cook more then our girl friends and wives. Walk in the rain, yes! Lets both get sick, then you can complain I'm not taking care of you when your sick and I go to work.

30) Just because we're in a serious relationship doesn't mean we plan to marry you someday, so stop being so damn scared!!!

30A) Then stop asking if I'm going to marry you over, and over, and over, and over, and over X 8 times a day over the phone.

31) If you're developing such good finger skills playing video games, you better put them to good use sometimes.

31A) Why don't you join us playing video games, instead of insulting us.

32) Anything you do or say to another girl that you wouldn't want us to know about is considered cheating.

32A) Yeah, have a girl friend, and talk to a female at your work place. Cheating. Talk about jumping to conclusions.

33) If we can admit that we're wrong, you'd better be able to do the same.

33A) Most of us do, but since you keep throwing it back in our faces, we won't do it anymore.

34) The excuse "I can't dance" is unacceptable...we'll appreciate the simple fact that you're trying.

34A) Then don't drag us into public areas and suddenly ask to dance. Talk to your partner first, and try dancing together in PRIVATE.

35) On that note, if you refuse to dance, expect us to dance with other guys...and lots of them.

35A) Odd, we're you not the one who wrote 32.

36) Think before you speak...it'll make a world of difference.

36A) Same to you. Back to 33A.

37) Not all girls kiss on the first date, get over it...we're creatures of mystery.

37A) Not all guys will kiss YOU on the first date, don't get pissy and think we hate you.

38) Make fun of our clothes...prepare to die.

38A) Please, when we tell you that something does NOT look great on you. Don't get pissy. "Oh you hate me, blah, blah blah." Just laugh and try something else.

39) We don't always expect you to pay for us, but it doesn't hurt to at least offer everyone once in a while.

39A) Number 7A.

40) Tell us we're beautiful.

40A) And when we do, don't get pissy that some other girl in a crowd has something you consider 'slutty'.

41) The "little things" in a relationship are really the biggest.

41A) I wish you were right, but somehow, the little things never back you up when she is pissed off.

42) Foreplay isn't something we should have to ask for...it's a prerequisite.

42A) Really? Remember number 5. Most couples consider that foreplay.

43) Don't screw us over...especially if we have an older brother or protective guy friends...they will hunt you down and kill you.

43A) Again, over reacting. Get a grip on life, you went with a guy that looked 'better' then the other guy, and got fucked over. Big deal. Try harder next time.

44) If you're gonna look at other girls, at least make sure we don't see you do it.

44A) Okay, then don't do number 6 or 28.

45) No girl just wants to be your "friend with benefits".

45A) Actually there are quite a few, couples do it, they are called Swingers.

46) We're sensitive too...be gentle (and we're not talking about our hearts here guys).

46A) Yeah, so when we make a joke, laugh and don't take it seriously.

47) One word when it comes to smoking...quit.

47A) Same to you, it's disgusting.

48) We reserve the right to hate all of your ex-girlfriends.

48A) Over reacting females. You know some relationships don't always end in fighting. Maybe yours have?

49) If we happen to trip, fall, etc, while wearing the exceptionally high shoes that we love, go ahead and laugh...we will be...that is unless we hurt ourselves...

49A) We will laugh, and you will get pissy. We laugh because we told you those shoes were trouble.

Here is the full list of winners at the 80th Academy Awards, which have been held in Los Angeles.

Best picture
Winner - No Country For Old Men
Atonement
Juno
Michael Clayton
There Will Be Blood

Best director
Winners - Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country For Old Men
Julian Schnabel, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Jason Reitman, Juno
Tony Gilroy, Michael Clayton
Paul Thomas Anderson, There Will Be Blood

Best actor
Winner - Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood
George Clooney, Michael Clayton
Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd
Tommy Lee Jones, In the Valley of Elah
Viggo Mortensen, Eastern Promises

Best actress
Winner - Marion Cotillard, La Vie en Rose
Cate Blanchett, Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Julie Christie, Away from Her
Laura Linney, The Savages
Ellen Page, Juno

Best supporting actress
Winner - Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton
Cate Blanchett, I'm Not There
Ruby Dee, American Gangster
Saoirse Ronan, Atonement
Amy Ryan, Gone Baby Gone

Best supporting actor
Winner - Javier Bardem, No Country For Old Men
Casey Affleck, The Assassination of Jesse James...
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Charlie Wilson's War
Hal Holbrook, Into the Wild
Tom Wilkinson, Michael Clayton

Best foreign language film
Winner - The Counterfeiters (Austria)
Beaufort (Israel)
Katyn (Poland)
Mongol (Kazakhstan)
12 (Russia)

Best animated feature film
Winner - Ratatouille
Persepolis
Surf's Up

Best adapted screenplay
Winner - No Country For Old Men
Atonement
Away from Her
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
There Will Be Blood

Best original screenplay
Winner - Juno
Lars and the Real Girl
Michael Clayton
Ratatouille
The Savages

Best music (score)
Winner - Atonement
The Kite Runner
Michael Clayton
Ratatouille
3:10 to Yuma

Best music (song)
Winner - Falling Slowly - Once (performed by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova)
Happy Working Song - Enchanted (performed by Amy Adams)
Raise It Up - August Rush (performed by Jamia Simone Nash and Impact Repertory Theatre)
So Close - Enchanted (performed by Jon McLaughlin)
That's How You Know - Enchanted (performed by Amy Adams)

Best documentary feature
Winner - Taxi to the Dark Side
No End in Sight
Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience
Sicko
War/Dance

Best documentary short subject
Winner - Freeheld
La Corona (The Crown)
Salim Baba
Sari's Mother

Best visual effects
Winner - The Golden Compass
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Transformers

Best cinematography
Winner - There Will Be Blood
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Atonement
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
No Country For Old Men

Best art direction
Winner - Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
American Gangster
Atonement
The Golden Compass
There Will Be Blood

Best animated short film
Winner - Peter and the Wolf
I Met the Walrus
Madame Tutli-Putli
Meme Les Pigeons Vont au Paradis (Even Pigeons Go to Heaven)
My Love (Moya Lyubov)

Best short film
Winner - Le Mozart des Pickpockets
At Night
Il Supplente
Tanghi Argentini
The Tonto Woman

Best costume design
Winner - Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Across the Universe
Atonement
La Vie en Rose
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Best make-up
Winner - La Vie en Rose
Norbit
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Best sound mixing
Winner - The Bourne Ultimatum
No Country For Old Men
Ratatouille
3:10 to Yuma
Transformers

Best sound editing
Winner - The Bourne Ultimatum
No Country For Old Men
Ratatouille
There Will Be Blood
Transformers

Best film editing
Winner - The Bourne Ultimatum
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Into the Wild
No Country For Old Men
There Will Be Blood

Scene: It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.
Fox "What are you working on?"
Rabbit "My thesis."
Fox "Hmmm. What's it about?"
Rabbit "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes." (incredulous pause)
Fox "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes."
Rabbit "Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me."
They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes, the rabbit returns, alone, to his typewriter and resumes typing.

Soon, a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.
Wolf "What's that you're writing?"
Rabbit "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves" (loud guffaws)
Wolf "You don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
Rabbit "No problem. Do you want to see why?"
The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.

Scene: inside the rabbit's burrow. In one corner, there is a pile of fox bones. In another corner, a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the room, a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth.

Moral: It doesn't matter what you choose for a thesis subject. It doesn'tmatter what you use for data. What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.